Monday, September 11, 2006

Monday morning blues

I hate my job. I truly do. Every Monday, I have a hard time getting out of bed. Not necessarily because I'm tired, but because I don't want to go to work. So of course, I'm often late on Monday - two to three minutes late. But, to add insult to injury, if we're late we have to pay a fine into the employee entertainment fund. I think I've contributed to about 30% of the fund. But if the kids are happy, fine. Whatever.

I still hate my job. The pressure, the work. I'm always torn because right now I'm getting managerial experience in an entrepreneurial environment which should be good for my career development. But sometimes I could give a damn about the product and our customers. I just want some time for me and to plan my wedding. It's sucking the life out of me, and the worst is that I can't quit because I have a wedding and a future to pay for. To further pile on the suckiness, this morning while rushing to work I slipped on a puddle and now my knee and toe are bruised. Wah! >_<

5 comments:

Matt M. said...

Congrats on your upcoming wedding! Tina and I also have an upcoming wedding... we should share tips =)

As for work... (employee entertainment fund?!) As you know, I turned down more lucrative jobs and chose the less paying way in order to get a job I really enjoy. Yes, I'm still paying off my MIT loans, and it's going to be tough to make ends meet for a self-financed wedding, so there are certainly tradeoffs. What is it you would really like to do?

(btw, yay for RSS feeds so I can keep up with people's blogs/lives!)

Mellerson said...

Oooooh, congratulations!!!

Leon VanderPol said...

Hi Berta

Just a quick note to say I dropped by. Found this page after Neil sent me the link to your wedding. An impressive blog, with nice commentary on our life. I feel i know you better already.

Congrats by the way on your wedding! A grand event it will be I'm sure. Planning it half the fun, so if it is very important to you then it's always worth it to find ways to do it, perhaps even at the sacrific of other seeming priorities.

You mention this future you have to pay for, the future that's tying you to a job you hate, what does that future look like without this current job? What could the future be like without this current job?

I have a blog as well. new-world-thought.blogspot.com/ Metaphysical searching stuff.

Have a better day!

Leon

Berta said...

Wow, I think this is my most-commented on post ever. It's hard to explain how I feel about my work. Sometimes I feel like it's a great opportunity to gain the management experience I have heretofore not gotten in my career. Other times I feel very cranky and that my boss and co-workers keep bugging me to solve hard questions with no easy answers.

Now, about the future and why I need to keep working: Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall of the Massachusetts Supreme Court wrote the opinion in Goodridge vs. Department of Health,

Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support; it brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, and for their children, marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In turn it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations.

Now that I am etting married, I'm trying to consider not just my future, but my combined future. A future full of benefits as well as obligations.

Christine said...

Hey Berta, reading how miserable you are at your job made me also cringe. I felt the very same way when I worked for Citibank in Taiwan, I could not get out of bed and my job sucked literally the life out of me.

Can't you find something else that you enjoy doing? There is no reason why you can't. You're qualified and you can do anything you want to do. Life is really too short to be so unhappy.