Sunday, February 21, 2010

Mommy guilt

I felt badly a few nights ago - my Munchkin has been going through either a growth spurt or teething and has been waking up a lot at night. One night at about 4am, he would nurse for a bit, break off, whine because he was not latched on, and then I would have to get him latched on again. After close to an hour of this, I lost my temper. I think I let out a very loud groan; I don't remember exactly. What I do remember is that at that moment, my little baby looked at me with wide eyes and then scooched away from me to snuggle up against my forearm (he sleeps next to me and likes to be nestled into my armpit). At that moment, he recognized my grouchiness and frustration and decided that my arm was still a safe haven. He actually took my arm and hugged it. I felt really bad. Sweetie, Mommy loves you even though the hourly feedings are killer.

The night after that was much better - I got to sleep for four hours straight! And even though I was awoken six times last night, he was very eficient at nursing. I hope I don't jinx myself - I hope tonight goes smoothly as well! I need the rest - the flip side of getting a break from what seems to be constant nursing is that I have a clogged duct again. If it's not one thing, it's another!

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